TwilightFantasia

You traitor! You left. Doesn't matter that you're an adult. Doesn't matter that you have your own life. Doesn't matter that you used to be there. You left! Your gone. Doesn't matter that you suffered too. Doesn't matter that you suffered before. Doesn't matter that you are kind. Your gone! You traitor. You used to always be there. Your eldest. Your supposed to protects us. I don't care if you're so much older. That we're only half siblings. You should be here! You should be the one I call for help! I shouldn't have to be the eldest, the protector, the rock in the storm. That is your job. But I have to do it.

I'm sorry that you hurt I'll try best to help. You can hide behind me I can take the pain. I'll be your protector, the one to hold you safe. I'll try not to be our father, but it's not always easy not to yell and scream. If I get too angry you can always hit me. Knock some sense in me, like we wish we could our mother and our father. I don't know that I am selfless enough to help you But I will try my best. So my fragile sister, let's hope that is enough.

How can he be so oblivious? He tears us down. Beats our hearts to pulp. And doesn't know he is doing it. He doesn't understand How can he be human and not understand the pain? The suffering? The emotion? Is he broken? Has life broken his emotions, so badly he can't see? Does the fact he doesn't know mean I shouldn't hurt? Is my being hurt cruel, to him and my self? Does being oblivious to your sin make you not a sinner? I used to know. It used to be so obvious. A yes or a no. I can't see the answer any more. When I search my memories The old answer isn't there.

Why do you hold a grudge? Why can't you just let go? It has been almost 20 years since he has loved someone besides you. So why can't you forgive him for loving another woman before you? Does the fact they're still friends Hurt you so much? She was the one who helped him So that he could love you. She never loved him And he loves you. So why can't you forgive and forget? He said one wrong thing 5 years ago He's human that happens Why can't you forgive and forget. Why are you so blind when it comes to him that you don't see how you overreact? How you break me and my sister Every time you do.

It has been forty years since I was born, and not all of them have been fun. But I think that my battle scars balance with worn laugh lines. Husband's laughter, the baby's cry, and the kids' yells sound with the door bell when my Marine best friend comes with her five kids. My black best friend with her loud afro-asian kids and Korean husband, very loudly, skids in soon after. My sister is the last to come. My house rings with laughter and joy. Every speaker in my house set to blast music. And I foil all the kids' ploy to raid the cookie jar. I can't help but look forward to my eightieth birthday visit.

I walk in to my home and saw remnants of a fight. maybe mom and dad, or mom and sister, or dad and sister, it really doesn't matter. The effect is the same sadness and hate. I walk into my room and see my sister laying in her bed, head under a pillow. I don't speak, it really doesn't matter. The effect was the same shallow smiles and tear tracks My clothes are strewn about I pick the blouses and skirts, shake out old dirt and leaves, folded them and put them in my bag. Snap belts in to shape, untangle and declaw jewelry before they too follow the clothes. "You running away?" it was mumbled and toneless. Was I? W

The early winter sky was dark. The biting wind blew through the stretched polyester of my sweat pants. Jacket, t-shirt, pants- that's all. The pretty blouses and skirts Lay on the floor of my bedroom like the dead leaves on the forest floor. The necklaces, belts, bracelets, animals waiting in the foliage to eat the unsuspecting. Ruby and diamond eyes glittering. Even though I stood far away the vines were tangled around me, dragging me back to the forests of home; Where lumbering beasts, called mother and father, wandered ready to attack. My body stood on top of a wall on a high hill. The wind was cold and felt

There is no one home, just emptiness in my chest where my heart should be. I wish I was actually strong, not just an actress who wears a smile to hide her hollowness. There is nothing inside not even anguish, there is no one home, just emptiness that makes all the laughter we share bogus, and all the smiles a little garnish. I'm not actually strong, just an actress whose broken heart is cureless because that last fight was the finish. There is no one home, just emptiness because that last yelled "fine" was a cutlass to the heart, cutting it out with a final swish. Because I'm not strong, just an actress who was broken by a sing

It is the climax. The breaking point. The point of no return. The storm has hit and I can't run. How long has it been building? I don't know anymore. I am broken down. I thought the wait was bad, I was wrong. The wait hard, This is worse. I once wrote a poem saying: "My father is a ship My mother the anchor The ocean, life battering the sides I am the sailor safe on board But it is time to go for a swim" I take it back! I don't want life to touch me, I want my father to stay my safe place, and mother there to steady us. But it is to late for that. The ship has broken down in the storm. The anchors have washed away. Th